| SHOW A LITTLE RESPECT! |
Bill Helmer
| True Detective, waiting until Mr.Capone was safely locked up (on a minor accounting technicality), blamed him for the St. Valentine's Day Massacre in language so gruesome that many contemporary readers have been so overwhelmed by the lurid details that they tossed their cookies! |
| "When I sell booze, they call it bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on silver trays, they call it hospitality." --Al Capone |
| "We can't all be saints." --John Dillinger |
| "The electric chair yawns for its fodder of calloused human beasts whose warped minds prompt evil deeds. The wages of sin is death! Sooner or later it will get JOHN DILLINGER That, or the searing death of hot bullets fired from eager guns!" |
"Don't get the idea I'm one of those goddam radicals. Don't get the idea I'm knocking the American system..." "My rackets are run on strictly American lines and they are going to stay that way..." "If machines are going to take jobs away from the worker...we must care for him during the period of change. We must keep him away from Red literature, Red ruses; we must see that his mind remains healthy." Mr. Capone was no less opposed to the political and police corruption he confronted in his line of business: "Graft is a byword in American life today. It is law where no law is obeyed. It is undermining this country. The honest lawmakers of any city can be counted on your fingers. I could count Chicago's on one hand." Which is not to say he was without his critics: "There's always some wiseacre who stands in the wings and criticizes. You've got two choices. You either buy these wiseacres off by giving them jobs...or you scare them off. If they don't scare, you take them in the alley. When they get out of the hospital, if they still want to squawk, you get rid of them." I didn't mean to include that one, which was merely lighthearted banter, perhaps inspired by a little Chianti, that might be taken out of context and misconstrued. This one is much better: "I've been spending the best years of my life as a public benefactor. I've given people the light pleasures, shown them a good time. And all I get is abuse." Let us not forget his legacies that are all the more important today: The power to tax is the power to destroy; and always practice Safe Sex. |
| Today this would be called a Hostile Takeover |
| This offensive T-shirt has been seen on the streets of Chicago and in other cities. People who wear them should be burned. Not the people; just the T-shirt. |
After looking at this smiling father-and-son photo, who can imagine Big Al being implicated in the killing of Joe Howard, Dean O'Banion, Hymie Weiss, Joe Guinta, Albert Anselmi, John Scalise, Joey Aiello, Assistant State's Attorney Bill McSwiggin, and much of the Bugs Moran gang? Nearly all these alleged murders were perpetrated in self-defense! (More or less.) Okay, so maybe he was declared Public Enemy No. 1. All they could ever nail him on was a piss-poor tax beef! |
| This site, or URL, or whatever it's called, has been constructed largely by Mr. Helmer's beautiful young granddaughter Jessie Rekemeyer whose mother is going to blow her top when she learns that I have already rewarded her with a slinky outfit from |
| And, as Doctor Naismith has often pointed out (too often, some might say): CRIME DOES NOT PAY! but it can be a shortcut to immortality |
| NEVER PICK UP HITCHHIKERS |
| Obviously this is a SITE IN PROGRESS as its founder is stumbling around in it like a boob in the woods. Most of the Yahoo people are worthless when it comes to talking 'digital' to an old-fart analog guy. |
| We have Johnnie, and a few others, to thank for the vast improvements in today's bank security, as well as for the prominent role he played in transforming the FBI into our country's premier crime-fighting organization. |
URGES YOU TO
| While driving from Davenport, Iowa, to the city of Dubuque we encountered this pathetic old-fart hitchhiker near the town of Lost Nation, and of course we stopped, hoping he might be able to tell us how to find the historic old Julian Hotel once owned by Al Capone and which provided many a Chicago mobster with a home away from home. He remembered the Julian from his youth, told us exactly where to find it, and described how Capone’s influence and protection had long extended up and down old U.S. 67 when it enjoyed its share of roadhouses and corruption. Out of curiosity we asked him how the local hamlet of Lost Nation got such an unusual name, and he explained that in the late 1800s a wagon train set out from Philadelphia, had gotten lost thanks to bad directions from Red Indians, realized they could never make it across the Sierras before winter closed in, said the hell with it, and settled on the west bank of the Mississippi River. We thanked him and drove on. |
A 1934 documentary titled
Crime Never Pays!
is nothing more than a
malicious monument to
purple prose:
Crime Never Pays!
is nothing more than a
malicious monument to
purple prose:
John's little stunt ended
the careers of Prosecutor
Estill and Sheriff Holley.
the careers of Prosecutor
Estill and Sheriff Holley.
Big Al tries to restore peace
to war-torn Chicago
to war-torn Chicago
| And this is the Colt's .380 Pocket Pistol--finally tracked down by retired G-man Larry Wack--that John was carrying on the night that FBI bullets "set him free." |
| Alas, here is Mr Helmer today, in the Heart o' Texas, with his neighbor, Alejandro, who took one look at his get-up and cried out, "Ayee! Cheekago! All-Caponey! Da-da-da-da-dat!" |
Your Benefactor:
| KANSAS CITY MASSACRE & The Killing of Pretty Boy Floyd Breathing New Life Into Chester's Smith's Account |
...and his friends.
The writer...
| Be aware that, except for the obvious BS on this opening page, the rest of the stuff is carefully researched.... |
MEANWHILE
| Johnnie's just an ordinary fellow. Of course he goes out and holds up banks and things, but he's just like any other fellow, aside from that... --Mary Kinder I'd like to have enough money to enjoy life; be clear of everything--not worry, take of my old man, and see a ball game every day... --Johnnie Keep calm and lay down on the floor... --John Dillinger |
| The wooden pistol--actually made by a woodworker in Chicago, courtesy Art O'Leary, and smuggled to John--with a little help from his friends, for $11,000--by way of that rascal, Baby Face Nelson. |
| THAT'S MR HELMER IN HIS...AH...YOUTH... when he was a Senior Editor for Playboy, giving the magazine its Redeeming Social Value by way of the Playboy Defense Team. There he got to know fellow gangster-buff Chuck Schauer, a really nifty long-time cop turned mercernary in the Middle East and who then came back to another fine job as a Postal Inspector...although I'm not sure what that means. Anyway, he's one hell of a Photoshop expert who, in this case, made Mr Helmer a Chicago mobster: Southsiders on the left and Northsiders on the right. See if you can pick him out. If you can, there's still no prize. |
On the left is Helmer's latest book, by Indiana University Press (2011), based on the only memoirs ever
written by the wife of a gangster, originally from St. Louis, who became one of Al Capone's
special-assignment crew of "American Boys" (so that they would be unknown to either the cops or to his
rivals). Their first Job, in 1928, was to kill New York's Frankie Yale (for which Machine Gun Jack McGurn
got wrongly blamed) and then, with Fred Burke, to conduct the St. Valentine's Day Massacre. The book is
substantially expanded by FBI accounts and with carefully researched biographies of all the nogoodniks
both he and she dealt with, from Verne Miller (the Kansas City later "massacre") to bank-robber Harvey
Bailey to Capone's successor Frank Nitti, who ordered him killed when he took Bugs Moran's turf in 1933.
At which time she was saved from a suicide attempt by the wife of Fred Burke, who already was a prison
for an unrelated murder in Michigan.
written by the wife of a gangster, originally from St. Louis, who became one of Al Capone's
special-assignment crew of "American Boys" (so that they would be unknown to either the cops or to his
rivals). Their first Job, in 1928, was to kill New York's Frankie Yale (for which Machine Gun Jack McGurn
got wrongly blamed) and then, with Fred Burke, to conduct the St. Valentine's Day Massacre. The book is
substantially expanded by FBI accounts and with carefully researched biographies of all the nogoodniks
both he and she dealt with, from Verne Miller (the Kansas City later "massacre") to bank-robber Harvey
Bailey to Capone's successor Frank Nitti, who ordered him killed when he took Bugs Moran's turf in 1933.
At which time she was saved from a suicide attempt by the wife of Fred Burke, who already was a prison
for an unrelated murder in Michigan.
This was published by Cumberland House (2007), which sold
out to Turner Publishing, which hasn't done a damn thing with
it...except to sell out (with no royalties!) all the hardcover copies
and leave the softcovers on Amazon (still no royalties!).
It includes, by God, the most carefully researched biographies of
both gangsters and outlaws (East Coast and Midwest), a
maddenly-researched crime chronology of the period, the Crown
Point escape by Dillinger, Bonnie & Clyde, plus a crime-control
chronology, the Goddard Crime Lab, the story of Prohibition, police
radio--blah, blah, blah-- many of which dispel all sorts of mistakes
and myths in previous books. 7x9" (bigger than shown here) and
almost 900 pages.
out to Turner Publishing, which hasn't done a damn thing with
it...except to sell out (with no royalties!) all the hardcover copies
and leave the softcovers on Amazon (still no royalties!).
It includes, by God, the most carefully researched biographies of
both gangsters and outlaws (East Coast and Midwest), a
maddenly-researched crime chronology of the period, the Crown
Point escape by Dillinger, Bonnie & Clyde, plus a crime-control
chronology, the Goddard Crime Lab, the story of Prohibition, police
radio--blah, blah, blah-- many of which dispel all sorts of mistakes
and myths in previous books. 7x9" (bigger than shown here) and
almost 900 pages.
At last--after
countless books and
a movie based on
"carved-in-stone" BS
of the day--here you
finally get the actual
story of the St.
Valentine's Day
Massacre when
Helmer and Bilek
learned they both
had independently
come up with the
same accounts at the
same time and
decided to
collaborate. The boys
from St. Louis done it,
as later confirmed by
several journalists
and retired
detectives (who
were pissed that they
couldn't follow the
many leads pointing
to St. Louis--and as
was later confirmed
in a "confidential"
report by Hoover's
FBI. Since it
technically wasn't
"interstate," the
Feds couldn't touch
it--or didn't want to,
as even racketeering
would have exposed
his men to
corruption. So
Hoover made his
famous name
nabbing kidnappers
and shooting outlaws
who robbed banks
instead of trying to
get the goods on
racketeers. (Only
Hoover's Treasury
Department rival,
Harry Anslinger, kept
harping that there
was an interstate
'Mafia.'
countless books and
a movie based on
"carved-in-stone" BS
of the day--here you
finally get the actual
story of the St.
Valentine's Day
Massacre when
Helmer and Bilek
learned they both
had independently
come up with the
same accounts at the
same time and
decided to
collaborate. The boys
from St. Louis done it,
as later confirmed by
several journalists
and retired
detectives (who
were pissed that they
couldn't follow the
many leads pointing
to St. Louis--and as
was later confirmed
in a "confidential"
report by Hoover's
FBI. Since it
technically wasn't
"interstate," the
Feds couldn't touch
it--or didn't want to,
as even racketeering
would have exposed
his men to
corruption. So
Hoover made his
famous name
nabbing kidnappers
and shooting outlaws
who robbed banks
instead of trying to
get the goods on
racketeers. (Only
Hoover's Treasury
Department rival,
Harry Anslinger, kept
harping that there
was an interstate
'Mafia.'
This is doubtlessly the world's
finest book on the life of John
Dillinger--mainly because the
original manuscript was written
in 1935 by G. Russell Girardin,
who I had assumed was long
gone, but who turned out to still
be living comfortably in
Chicago. It turned out that he
had met Dillinger attorney Louis
Piquett by way of his ad agency,
and with the help of Piquett, his
loquacious "assistant" Arthur
O'Leary (who maintained contact
with Dillinger to the end), and
with the Dillinger family,
Girardin produced a
highly-readable MS titled
"Dillinger Speaks" that was
serialized in newspapers in
1935-36.
At the time Girardin deemed it
unwise to include the ongoing
operations of the East Chicago
mob and O'Leary's connections
with nearly every crook in the
vicinity, but when I proposed
that the typewritten manuscript
be published as a book, he
readily agreed. He added that
now he could include, by way of
footnotes, the material he had
to delete from the original. After
he finished that, and while I was
elaborating on Dillinger in an
"After the Facts" section to
describe the outlaw's
continuing fascination as a
"people's bandit," Girardin
suffered a stroke and died.
Indiana University Press
published its hardcover edition
in 1994, followed by two
softcovers, an "Expanded"
edition in 2005 and an
"Anniversary" edition in 2009,
both of which required more
"After the Facts" material to
further expand on the original.
finest book on the life of John
Dillinger--mainly because the
original manuscript was written
in 1935 by G. Russell Girardin,
who I had assumed was long
gone, but who turned out to still
be living comfortably in
Chicago. It turned out that he
had met Dillinger attorney Louis
Piquett by way of his ad agency,
and with the help of Piquett, his
loquacious "assistant" Arthur
O'Leary (who maintained contact
with Dillinger to the end), and
with the Dillinger family,
Girardin produced a
highly-readable MS titled
"Dillinger Speaks" that was
serialized in newspapers in
1935-36.
At the time Girardin deemed it
unwise to include the ongoing
operations of the East Chicago
mob and O'Leary's connections
with nearly every crook in the
vicinity, but when I proposed
that the typewritten manuscript
be published as a book, he
readily agreed. He added that
now he could include, by way of
footnotes, the material he had
to delete from the original. After
he finished that, and while I was
elaborating on Dillinger in an
"After the Facts" section to
describe the outlaw's
continuing fascination as a
"people's bandit," Girardin
suffered a stroke and died.
Indiana University Press
published its hardcover edition
in 1994, followed by two
softcovers, an "Expanded"
edition in 2005 and an
"Anniversary" edition in 2009,
both of which required more
"After the Facts" material to
further expand on the original.
What we have here is
the one and only book
about Baby Face Nelson
and his tribulations as a
basically-crazy Chicagoan
whose bank-robbery
career early-on led one
teller to describe him as
having a "baby face," no
doubt inspired by a movie
and song of the day, "You
got the cutest little baby
face." But he'd shoot you
if called him that, like the
FBI did. He preferred
"Jimmy Williams."
His birth name was Lester
Gillis (can anybody
imagine being robbed by
somebody named Lester
Gillis?), after he and
Homer Van Meter
provided the upfront
money to spring John
Dillinger from the Crown
Point jail (thereby creating
the "second" Dillinger
gang, to Lester's
considerable annoyance.
"Jimmy" was inclined to
shoot people during their
robberies, to Dillinger's
considerable dismay.
After Dillinger's death,
he was set upon by
Federal agents trying to
intercept him after
leaving Hermansen's Lake
Como Hotel in Wisconsin,
and on his way to Chicago
he shot it out with two
G-men, killing both of
them but taking a bullet
that soon put him down
on November 27, 1934.
The best that can be said
of Baby Face is that he
didn't screw around and
always remained loyal to
his wife, Helen, who lived
the rest of her life in
Chicago, in relative
seclusion...with financial
help from her friends
the one and only book
about Baby Face Nelson
and his tribulations as a
basically-crazy Chicagoan
whose bank-robbery
career early-on led one
teller to describe him as
having a "baby face," no
doubt inspired by a movie
and song of the day, "You
got the cutest little baby
face." But he'd shoot you
if called him that, like the
FBI did. He preferred
"Jimmy Williams."
His birth name was Lester
Gillis (can anybody
imagine being robbed by
somebody named Lester
Gillis?), after he and
Homer Van Meter
provided the upfront
money to spring John
Dillinger from the Crown
Point jail (thereby creating
the "second" Dillinger
gang, to Lester's
considerable annoyance.
"Jimmy" was inclined to
shoot people during their
robberies, to Dillinger's
considerable dismay.
After Dillinger's death,
he was set upon by
Federal agents trying to
intercept him after
leaving Hermansen's Lake
Como Hotel in Wisconsin,
and on his way to Chicago
he shot it out with two
G-men, killing both of
them but taking a bullet
that soon put him down
on November 27, 1934.
The best that can be said
of Baby Face is that he
didn't screw around and
always remained loyal to
his wife, Helen, who lived
the rest of her life in
Chicago, in relative
seclusion...with financial
help from her friends
Now THESE are Helmer originals--the very first to
describe the origins and history of the Tommygun,
including interviews with the three aging gentlemen who
actually designed it for General Thompson in 1919 and
(having missed World War I, for which it was intended)
the gun nevertheless went into production in 1921to
become the "gangster equivalent of the cowboys'
six-shooter"--just in time for Prohibition. It was based on
my master's thesis at The University of Texas (Austin) and
published by Macmillan in 1969, so if you ever see the
Macmillan one on the left, snag it. Years later it was
simply photocopied and released by an outfit called Gun
Room Press to promote the longer-barreled
semi-automatic Thompsons then being turned out by
Numrich Arms. The Amazon people evidently get
confused, because they don't know the difference.
describe the origins and history of the Tommygun,
including interviews with the three aging gentlemen who
actually designed it for General Thompson in 1919 and
(having missed World War I, for which it was intended)
the gun nevertheless went into production in 1921to
become the "gangster equivalent of the cowboys'
six-shooter"--just in time for Prohibition. It was based on
my master's thesis at The University of Texas (Austin) and
published by Macmillan in 1969, so if you ever see the
Macmillan one on the left, snag it. Years later it was
simply photocopied and released by an outfit called Gun
Room Press to promote the longer-barreled
semi-automatic Thompsons then being turned out by
Numrich Arms. The Amazon people evidently get
confused, because they don't know the difference.
The above trifle (8.5 x11") is
memorable mainly because it was
the first book, coauthored and
privately printed (by the Chicago
Typewriter Company--get the
joke?) by Mr Helmer and Mark
Levell. It is 34 pages of the
quotations of Mr Capone, with
Helmer's frequent inserts that
sympathetically describe Mr
Capone's ordeals when he ruled
Chicago "Outfit." (It pretty much
reflects the BS on this opening
page.) For some reason, Amazon
prices it (somewhat used) at like
$50 to $150. God knows why,
except that it's pretty rare.
memorable mainly because it was
the first book, coauthored and
privately printed (by the Chicago
Typewriter Company--get the
joke?) by Mr Helmer and Mark
Levell. It is 34 pages of the
quotations of Mr Capone, with
Helmer's frequent inserts that
sympathetically describe Mr
Capone's ordeals when he ruled
Chicago "Outfit." (It pretty much
reflects the BS on this opening
page.) For some reason, Amazon
prices it (somewhat used) at like
$50 to $150. God knows why,
except that it's pretty rare.
OK, so don't stop here...
| ALSO WE'VE GOT A GEN-U-WINE EARLY (AUTO- ORDNANCE #1633) THOMPSON SUBMACHINE GUN, VERY GOOD CONDITION BUT "UNSERVICABLE," SO I COULD GET IT INTO CHICAGO. (Old Texas friend touch-welded on a WWII barrel, keeping all the original internal parts for easily restoring it into a shooter. Comes with the original Type XX and Type L drum magazines.) |
And, finally... at least on this page... we feel morally obligated...
(Anybody wanting to see the newly
discovered St. Valentine's Day Massacre
slugs, click here:.
discovered St. Valentine's Day Massacre
slugs, click here:.